We’re almost done for the year! The birds are out and singing, the ice is slowly creeping off our windshields in the morning, and there are occasional blue patches which pop out between the grey, lake-effect-y clouds.
And do you know what this sudden upswing in outside happiness means?
That’s right: staying inside and watching movies.
I recently conducted an extremely scientific poll (which involved asking my Facebook friends and texting my relatives what they thought) in which I asked people what movie scenes they would most like to reenact in real life. The results were fascinating . . .
Actually, the results were pretty okay. Predictable, but still entertaining. The male answers seemed to fall into three groups: 1. Scenes where food rains from the sky, 2. Scenes where you get to make out with Jennifer Aniston, and 3. Action scenes from Liam Neeson movies.
And from women, the answers were mainly things like “that scene at the end of the Never Been Kissed,” or “that scene at the end of Love, Actually,” or “that scene before the end of Titanic.”
Now, I know these gender-stereotyped answers are, you know, gender-stereotyped, but like I said, this study was very scientific. Here are some of the most frequent and most interesting answers I got (excluding the really interesting ones, which are not all that appropriate for a family newspaper). Some people would love to reenact that scene from . . .
. . . Footloose, dancing out their anger in the woods.
. . . Indiana Jones, where all the bad guys get their faces melted.
. . . Sandlot, getting saved by the lifeguard Wendy.
. . . Tootsie, where Bill Murray is your roommate.
. . . Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs/Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory/Heavyweights, where you get to eat any and all junk food within view, and it doesn’t have any effect on your body because it’s fun and magical. I have to say, junk food came up pretty often.
. . . Batman, where you get to drive the Batmobile across the rooftops of New York City. Take that, hipster art galleries and oxygen bars!
. . . Dumb and Dumber, where you evade an evil henchman by getting him to eat heart attack-inducing hot chili peppers.
. . . Field of Dreams, where James Earl Jones says anything and it sounds awesome.
. . . Stepbrothers, where you get to go to job interviews in a tux and sleep in a bunk bed with Will Ferrell. I bet that would be fun for about a half hour.
. . . West Side Story, where street gangs are made up of very flexible male ballet dancers, and you can dance-fight your way through life. Curiously enough, this one came from my dad, who is about as much like a ballet dancer as I am like a marathon runner.
. . .The Sound of Music, where you get to run to the top of the Alps and spin in a circle and sing at the top of your voice and fight Nazis with your powers of song.
. . . Some Like It Hot, where Marilyn Monroe is just looking for a rich cross-dressing con man to love her.
. . . Up, where you can have a more fulfilling relationship in 4 minutes than Reese Witherspoon has ever had in 2 hours of any movie.