Another spring break has come and gone. And, according to TV and movies, we all spent it at the beach, gyrating to a tuneless throb of music and gleefully throwing our clothes to the winds. I know that actually sounds really boring to us as adults, but, further according to popular media, we also met someone hot and interesting at the beach to break up the insipid monotony (never mind that about half of us here are married).
Knowing Weber, most of us consider our spring breaks a success if we get a lot of homework or spring cleaning done. For instance, my husband and I moved into the house we’re renting last spring break. I was going to spend that break cleaning it, getting it in order for a housewarming party or casual movie night. Well, that was a year ago, and it’s still never been clean. I thought for sure I’d get it clean this year — a week seems like such a long time until you’re actually in it. Didn’t happen.
So, assuming I’m fairly typical of Weber students, here’s what we Wildcats did do on our spring breaks instead of dancing in the buff at that beach (I didn’t actually do all of these; some of them are educated guesses on my part):
1. Went to the hospital to figure out how to pay that medical bill for a $2,400 false alarm (OK, I’m hoping none of you have this in common with me).
2. Finished that load of dishes in the sink so you could stop hoarding plasticware from fast-food restaurants.
3. Ordered takeout because it’s easier than going out for dinner like you should on spring break (try Hug-Hes instead of pizza next time; they give you complimentary beer bread and sugar cookies with each order!).
4. Finished watching Season 2 of “Game of Thrones” on Amazon while eating that takeout off your knees (I’m judging you for leaving it this long, but I suppose you can insert your TV series of choice into the above).
5. Found more cute YouTube videos of cute animals, like a dog raising a baby panda as its own or a cat making friends with a bear or what have you, to share on your Facebook page.
6. Slept in until 2 p.m. (those of us who didn’t have work every day) and felt like losers and questioned your lives the rest of the day.
7. Finally bought that book you’ve been wanting but haven’t had time to read, nestled up in bed to read it, then felt your eyes getting heavy and took another nap even though you slept in until 2 p.m.
8. Since you couldn’t sleep through the night after that, gawked all night at episodes of “My Strange Addiction” on Netflix, then Googled “watch my strange addiction free online” because Netflix only has two seasons.
9. Went to one friend’s wedding, another one’s baby shower, another one’s baby blessing, and another one’s child’s baptism.
10. Tried to watch that movie you bought a year ago because it sounded interesting, then felt your eyes getting heavy and took another nap instead.
11. Made a to-do list of everything you still needed to do in the break’s remaining days and never did.
12. Worked. This probably took up 80 percent of the break for most of us; it’s only so far down on the list because there’s no way to spin it that makes it sound more interesting.
13. Saw a movie (though I just looked at what’s playing at the Megaplex, and, unless you saw “Les Miserables” for the fourth time, I’m guessing it was a mediocre experience).
14. Went to the gym . . . tomorrow.
15. Said out loud to at least one person, “Well, if nothing else, it’s one more week until this wretched semester is over.”
Unless you were one of those people who did get to go to the beach or Disneyland or Las Vegas or somewhere over spring break, in which case, you sicken me.