I think, because winter is so long in Utah, we all forgot the terribly awful things about summer.
After a long winter and a grueling spring semester, students everywhere were begging for summer. So I now take it upon myself to remind and warn those of you who think summer is just the greatest time ever of the top five worst things about summer.
1. Everyone looks forward to the free time one will have after spring semester is finally over (unless you are a summer student, but even then, you expect a little bit of free time). During the cold winter months, we all daydream of the great things we will do when we finally have time. We will read that book we’ve been meaning to read since we started college. We will spend more time with our family, paint, fix the roof, find a new place to live or perhaps spend some time admiring our cats (because they love that). These are all fine and great, but when the sun rolls around, what are you really doing? You’re sitting on your couch watching Netflix and sharing cookie dough from a container with your cat. Each day you tell yourself you’ll be productive tomorrow. As summer daydreaming goes up, summer motivation goes down.
2. One thing you never hear anyone say when talking about how excited they are for summer is how happy they are for all the returning bugs. “I’m so excited to have my entire door covered in boxelder bugs until it looks like a wave of black and red,” said no one, ever. Around my house in the summer months, I become a spider warrior. By that I mean a scared, squealing spider warrior. The spiders outside of my house are large and, to be blunt, quite impolite about my personal space. However bad spiders may be, nothing compares to the summer buzz of wasps. I often find myself busting a move trying to avoid a flying predator at every turn. I call it busting a move, when really it’s just dodging and flailing my arms.
3. When the snow is falling and you’re scraping ice from your windows, you might catch yourself thinking about how great the heat is in the summer. If summer heat is so great, why do they put air conditioning in cars and homes? If you’re curious, I don’t have either. My bedroom is like a sauna, and my car has black interior. By July, I will be just a puddle. A smart, sassy puddle.
4. What else comes with good weather? Construction. I do a bit of commuting because my family lives in various places in Northern Utah. The distance to travel to them isn’t long at all on a regular day, but the minute I hit construction traffic, I start to think it would be easier not to be in a family. Traffic makes me anxious, annoyed and a little overdramatic.
5. The last worst thing about the summer is what most people probably find the best: the sun. Being in the summer sun seems great until you have to do it. My experience with the sun so far this summer break has been horrible. First, I went to a wedding, which was outside. I got a not only very painful sunburn, but a really awkward-looking sunburn. I didn’t realize how awkward it was until I was trying to decide what to wear to probably the most prestigious and fancy dinner I had ever been invited to. I couldn’t wear something strapless because my skin that was not burnt looked so pale people would think it had straps. I couldn’t wear straps because they didn’t line up. I eventually broke down and wore the same dress I got the sunburn in, just so the richest people in Salt Lake City wouldn’t judge me for having awkward tan lines.
However great summer may seem, there are still some definite drawbacks. I couldn’t keep this top five worst things about summer list to myself any longer. I present you with the dirty truth about summer. While you’re daydreaming about summer fun from your bed with your Netflix on, I’ll be putting aloe on my lobster-red skin.