Sex. There, I said it. I’m not really sure how or why, but sex has become a taboo topic in modern society. We’re all ashamed to talk about it, yet it’s something that I think, especially as college students, we need to be open about.
Recently I saw a blog post floating around on Facebook. Samantha Pugsley’s regrets about losing her virginity on her wedding night both saddened me and made me stop and think about my own first experience with sex. Where she wishes she hadn’t have waited, I am so glad I did.
For one, Pugsley and I both waited until we were married to lose our “V” cards. We both took vows of chastity before we really understood what that meant. We both come from highly religious backgrounds. She said in her post she was Baptist and I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).
Like Pugsley, I stood at the hotel bathroom door in white lingerie, reassuring myself that even though I was terrified, I had done the right thing in waiting and losing my virginity to my husband.
The main difference, at least in my opinion, between Pugley’s experience and mine was why we waited. Sure, it started the same, with church leaders who taught us that sex before marriage was wrong, but it definitely ended differently.
Through my own decisions and mistakes, I grew to understand that I was waiting not because I was told to, or because God would bless me for my decisions, but because I needed that peace of mind that abstinence would give me.
By choosing to wait for my husband, I knew that I wouldn’t have to deal with the tangled up emotions that come with sex. It doesn’t matter how hardened you want to tell me you are, sex is an emotional act. Science has proven that sex releases hormones that make us want to cuddle and builds affectionate feelings. You can’t just have sex and not feel the emotional repercussions of it.
I won’t lie about wanting to not wait. There were countless times I thought I just couldn’t stand it anymore and I wanted to fall into bed with my husband. I know I prayed a lot and that my then-fiancé-now-husband prayed a lot. That we made it until our wedding night is a testament to me that God answers prayers, because we certainly did not have the strength to hold onto our virginity without heaven’s help.
Another important point I think Pugsley got wrong is feeling ashamed of having sex with her husband. How is it wrong to love and make love with your husband? That’s part of why you married him, right? There’s no shame in having sex after marriage.
God commanded Adam and Eve to have sex after they left the garden. I believe that everyone on this Earth is a child of God, descendants of Adam and Eve and that we each have that same sacred commandment to enjoy this earth life, sex, marriage and all.
One thing I do agree with Pugsley about is that now that I’m done writing this, it is nobody’s business what my husband and I do in the privacy of our home. None whatsoever.