William Shakespeare wrote a prophesy of warning to the world in his immortal classic “Julius Caesar.” “Beware the ides of March,” he penned. Through the years, that line has endured. For sports fans, the ides of March mean something different than a knife in the back. For sports fans, it’s when the madness begins.
Each year, the NCAA holds their annual basketball championship tournaments for the men’s and the women’s basketball programs. Each year, a pool of 68 teams are chosen from the 347 Division I basketball programs and are ranked and sent to different regions across the nation.
Competition begins, and it is fierce, going on for three weeks until one team is left the victor. During this time is when, in my opinion, some of the best basketball is played in the country. The tournament is filled with last-second, game-winning shots and upsets of the higher ranked elite.
Now, that is all fine and dandy in the regular world. Sports is sports, and it is a recreational pastime meant to be enjoyed. But some people, like most things, are taking the madness a bit too far.
Across the nation, there has become a sort of tradition among aging men of scheduling certain procedures around the time of the first week of March Madness.
The most common procedure scheduled hits all men a little too close to home. You see, during the month of March, most urologists see an increase of up to 50 percent more men getting vasectomies.
“We do have (in March) typically about 50% more vasectomies than in other months,” said Dr. Ed Sabanegh, chairman of the Department of Urology at the Cleveland Clinic during an interview with CNN.
“A lot of patients come in and say, ‘I have to have this during March Madness. You have to talk to my wife about it. Tell her what my limitations are and that I need to be on the couch.'”
I like sports, but even I think that is too far to watch basketball. Granted, if I had a minor procedure that was to be scheduled, and it so happened to fall in the month of March, then kudos. But wantonly getting my vas deferens snipped (or some men get it repaired for the same effect) is too far.
The other form of madness comes with the Bracketology. Yes, the study of and designing of the perfect bracket in hopes of winning an untold sum of money or recognition. Bracketology went so far as, at one time, having a $1 billion contest hosted by Warren Buffet for any one who cold pick the perfect bracket.
The odds of picking a bracket such as that are one in 9.2 quintillion. In fact, this year after the first weekend, there was not a single bracket still eligible. Fights usually do come with bracketology, as well as destroyed appliances.
Look people, enjoy the sport. It is fun, and it is amazing to watch all these stellar athletes compete on the national stage. But in the end, remember it’s just a game. Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have some failed brackets to burn thanks to the failures of Michigan State and Baylor.