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Graphic by: Stephanie Wells and Joshua Petersen

 

App: Trump Tracker

Cost: Priceless

Available: For those with a brain

Description: Trump Tracker is an app designed for those in the world who are fearful of a certain orange-skinned presidential candidate who has yellow hair that often resembles cotton candy blowing in the wind.

The app is designed to provide real-time updates about Donald Trump. It will notify you each time Trump says something racist, sexist or references his genitalia. (Note: This may result in hundreds of notifications an hour, so you may want to limit the amount of notifications per day in the settings.)

Pros: In addition to notifications about the ‘yuge’ man himself, the app will also send an alert to your phone when you come within 15 feet of a Trump supporter, giving you ample time to vacate the area before getting stuck in a conversation with a person donning a “Make America Great Again” baseball cap that was made in China.

The app will also provide a list of ways to help out your family and friends who support Trump with suggestions like buying them a book on morals or signing them up for an ethics class at your local community college.

Cons: The bad thing about Trump Tracker is that you will be reminded on a daily basis that the rest of the world is laughing at the U.S. and their support of a candidate who resembles one of Willy Wonka’s factory workers.

Overall: This app is essential, especially as the election draws closer. Trump Tracker will give you all the tools you need to stay updated and avoid Trump supporters. Oh, and there’s one more thing about this app to be aware of: April Fool’s.

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