Editors note: all source material comes from the Facebook page Weber State Confessions.
CONFESSION: “I hate it when girls on tinder play hard to get. Like b**** why are you on this app?????”
This type of behavior’s typically modeled by one’s father, so let me be the first to offer condolences to your mother. I hope she’s fully recovered from the blow she undoubtedly sustained just before your father dragged her back to his cave.
This may feel vaguely reminiscent of my first column in this series, but you’ve provided me an opportunity to focus on the rampant, hostile sexism that’s allowed for the popularity of Alex Tweten’s “Bye Felipe” Instagram account.
Your behavior is a relic of a pervasive — and baseless — assumption of female inferiority that’s existed for hundreds of thousands of years, mental leftovers from when women were property. Every time we take two steps forward away from this primitive inequality, we trip over the knuckles dragging behind men like you.
You and your ilk of sexually frustrated man-children have given Tinder the reputation it has today: the dating equivalent of the cantina scene from “Star Wars.” So to paraphrase that scene’s most iconic line: “She doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either.”
The point is, dating applications like Tinder, OkCupid or PlentyOfFish are, in their way, helping people meet a millions-of-years-old need to pair bond — which becomes increasingly difficult with every passing day in our detached, ironically unsociable society (and I mean social in the traditional sense, not commenting in emoji under a Facebook post).
These are human beings you’re talking about with passions, pasts, and aspirations, and you’re talking about them like Warren Jeffs surveying his flock.
But I bet you weren’t planning on posting this just a day before audio leaked of America’s dumpster fire of a Republican candidate boasting about molesting women, were you?
Well, congratulations, you’ve just outed yourself as being cut from the same misogynistic, woman-objectifying cloth as a man who’s arguably the most laughable bucket of sleaze in America — in the world, actually, as soon as Silvio Berlusconi finally dies.
These women aren’t playing ‘hard to get.’ They’re repulsed by your troglodyte advances and letting you down gently because they were raised better than you — but, evidently, you’re not picking up their cues. Allow me to translate. What they’re saying is, piss off, you chauvinistic pig.